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Couples Seeking Solutions Blog


What Couples Therapy Is Not

Posted on July 17, 2013 at 5:52 PM
Couples Therapy is not "necessarily" about the issues you are having, but rather about what changes you'd like to make in order to ensure that your relationship is going in the direction you both prefer.
Couples Therapy is not about what you "don't want," but rather what you "do want."
Couples Therapy is not about who's "right" and who is "wrong," it is about respect for differences, awareness, and growth.
Couples Therapy is not about what you think is wrong with your partner and or fixing your partner, but how you both can become better together, using your strengths as a means to maintain a change that sustains a lifetime.
Couples Therapy is not about criticizing, defensiveness, stone walling, or contempt, it is about minimizing those interactions to the best of your ability, gaining awareness together, and improving your communication.
Couples Therapy "is" about you, your partner, your experiences with life, your unique perspectives, your patterns of interaction, your strengths individually and as a couple, and your ability to become more aware of your relational dynamics and your part in it.
Couples Therapy is about connection, vulnerability, and the desired changes you wish to make in your lives.
Life can be stressful. The daily stressors of making a living, managing the relationships in your life, and staying in alignment with yourself can be challenging and often takes a toll on your relationships ability to sustain itself over long periods of time. Monogamy truly is a work in progress that needs to be tended carefully, like a gardener tends to their flowers.  
Inner calmness also known as peace of mind,  is possible, however it is a daily practice.  It's never surprising to me that couples often experience frustration, lack of desire, and overall exhaustion at times, given that life certainly has the ability to get the best of us at times.
However, making the choice to go to couples therapy is exactly what is necessary to ensure a lifetime of love, happiness, and joy when things are not working out as planned. Painfully, couples that are having difficulty often wait to long before coming to couples therapy, when all they need is a few sessions to help put things back into alignment with their relationship goals and preferences.  
Your relationship does not need to be on the brink of dissolution in order to enjoy a therapeutic couples session together. If you or any of your friends or family could use a few sessions, I offer Couples Booster Sessions for those couples who are experiencing mild to medium issues and just want a "relationship spring cleaning."  For those couples experiencing medium to severe relationship discomfort, I offer Couples Intensives and Private Couples Retreats.
I am a brief therapist, so typically my clients feel relieved after about 3 or 4 sessions. Usually it takes about 1 to 3 months, of attending therapy once a week, so it is not a long term investment of time or finances in order to get what you deserve out of your relationship.
Couples Therapy is "SMART!"

Categories: couples, love, What is Couples Therapy?

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