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Couples Seeking Solutions Blog

Blog

Falling in Love Everyday

Posted on June 3, 2013 at 3:53 PM
Inspiration for today's blog: "Fall in Love Everyday"
 
So, I got to thinking about the quote "fall in love everyday" and I began to wonder about it's meaning. My initial thoughts were about "being present" so that you can allow yourself to admire your partner and "fall in love everyday." But then I started to sink into the reality that appreciation for one's self and partner can be challenging in the face of daily stressors. Most of the couples I speak with make statements of feeling "too tired, too stressed, too not in the mood."  
 
So these are my recommendations for "staying present and falling in love everyday." 
 
If you are of the belief that in order to "fall in love" you must first love yourself, then you will like this blog. According to Bowen Theory, human beings spend a substantial amount of time pulling for either "togetherness" and or "individuality" and  depending on the amount of stressors in ones life, the pull for either could be substantially profound.
 
With that being said: My suggestion is to "focus on falling in love with yourself" (pull for individuality) each day. It could be finding something that you love or admire about yourself or maybe it's just some "alone time," which can be in the form of exercising, shopping, meditation, walking on the beach etc. If you can't find anything, than it's likely your not finding a substantial amount of gratitude going in the direction of your partner. You see, I believe that with "filling yourself up daily" actually effects the relationships "positive sentiment override" (Dr. John Gottman).
 
Positive sentiment override is 5  admiration/postitive statements to every 1 request for change/negative comment. Dr. John Gottman did research on happily married couples and can actually predict divorce by a 95% chance. His research suggests that the Happily Married Couples admire their partners 5 times more than they do not. My bet is that those couples are really good at "filling themselves up" before attending to their partners needs, wants, and desires.
 
Without positive regard towards our partners, the acknowledgment  starts to diminish over time. It starts to chip away at the belief of admiration and acknowledgement that both you and your partner need to sustain a lifetime of "falling in love everyday."
 
If you find yourself reading this and need therapeutic services, please contact me anytime. 754-245-1424 - CouplesSeekingSolutions.comRedHotRomanceRetreats.com

Categories: love

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18 Comments

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5:51 AM on October 2, 2015 
That is for sure - fill up yourself first, otherwise you will be nervous because of not taking care of you. You have to look after you, because, firstly, it shows the respect for your partner (you know, remaining uncombed and poorly dressed will irritate not only you)and, secondly, because it may take the wind out of your sails as you will be satisfied.
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4:32 PM on October 9, 2017 
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8:53 PM on March 27, 2018 
People these days are looking for love and they are being desperate about finding the one in their life. Love has been the most wonderful feeling that everyone like to experience for the better life style.
Reply lin
7:20 AM on July 9, 2018 
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4:04 AM on July 10, 2018 
here says...
That is for sure - fill up yourself first, otherwise you will be nervous because of not taking care of you. You have to look after you, because, firstly, it shows the respect for your partner (you know, remaining uncombed and poorly dressed will irritate not only you)and, secondly, because it may take the wind out of your sails as you will be satisfied.

A lot of my friends have been wondering how my boyfriend and I kept our relationship strong for all these years. It has been 6 years since we started dating and until now, I fall for him every day. We have a secret that only the two of us know, and now I will reveal it. Just kidding, what we have should only be for our knowledge only. Okay, that was our secret, we keep our relationship private that we do not let anyone interfere.
Reply hen
7:25 AM on August 8, 2018 
Nice
Reply college paper org
7:57 AM on August 8, 2018 
Our college paper org required us to submit articles about maintaining a healthy relationship with your partner. My two cents with this is that to love others, one must first love himself. Spending alone time can improve oneself, be it spiritually, mentally or emotionally. I agree with your stand regarding couples who are good at "filling themselves up" before attending to their partner's needs, wants, and desires to live a happy and healthy relationship. Falling in love everyday requires loving yourself everyday as well.
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7:05 PM on August 23, 2018 
You can't so easily fall in love. I think it's almost impossible.
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3:33 AM on September 29, 2018 
It is very important indeed that we fall in love everyday. We should find to love ourself and our partner. Seeing good in everything that happens
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6:18 AM on October 5, 2018 
Couples who have discovered the secret of unconditional love can tell us exactly what the " falling in love everyday" terms mean. Some of these couples get to spend many years together and their families are trying to find the best in home care oak park il to not separate them and to live under the same roof.
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